I gave my daughter over $100,000 to put down on her first house. She is my only child and I wanted to help her when she needed it. About six months later she met her husband and they married three years later. They have now been married for six years. They are great together and very happy and it is my hope they stay that way.

Being divorced, I want to look out for her. Her husband shares all the payments since they have been married, and they are talking about possibly selling and moving to a different area with less congestion for them to get to work more easily. They plan on buying for close to what her house is worth now. It has appreciated by over $300,000 from when she bought it.

If they do that, what happens to the money I gifted her?

Loving Mother

Related: 'I'm trapped between warring siblings': My late father left a ledger with $80,000 in unpaid loans to my brothers. Can the executor force them to pay?

What happens to the money you gifted your daughter depends entirely on how she chooses to proceed with the house sale. If she uses all of her equity to purchase a new home with her husband, all of her equity, plus whatever you gave her, will become part of their marital estate.

A quick recap: The house, given that it was purchased before your daughter and son-in-law's marriage, is likely separate property, assuming that her husband did not contribute in any significant way to the renovations of the property. So let's proceed on the basis that no commingling has occurred.

There are two types of gift tax. The first is implemented by the Internal Revenue Service. You can give $18,000 a year to your daughter or $36,000 a year to a married couple without having to file a tax return for that amount. (The donor usually pays gift tax.)

The second kind of "gift tax" is more emotional than material. It happens when a parent gives an adult child money, and expects to have some say what happens with that money after the fact. Your intentions are understandable, and they come from a good place. You want to protect your daughter.

There are two types of gift tax. The first is implemented by the Internal Revenue Service. The second kind of 'gift tax' is more emotional than material.

One option is to suggest that she sell her home, take the down payment you gave her and, if she has enough cash, the equity that was built up in the home and put it in a separate bank account. They can likely afford a similarly priced home with both of their incomes.

Your daughter and her husband can each have a separate conversation about how much money they contribute to the new property. Ideally, they would each put down, say, $100,000, and have an equal share in the property. But not all couples do everything 50/50.

These are good problems to have. As I told this man whose future in-laws wanted to contribute $10,000 towards their wedding, even though they were lobbying for the money to be used as a down payment on their first house, marriage is many things - including a business contract.

More younger couples are marrying later in life, and they are also more open to signing prenuptial agreements. This is part of a broader awareness about debt, income, investments and working together as a team in order to build a comfortable life with a view to a successful retirement (or building a successful life with a view to a comfortable retirement).

The number of millennials who support prenups has risen from 42% in 2022 to 50% last year, according to Harris Poll. That's quite a jump and suggests an increased level of maturity and realism when approaching marriage. For that reason, a gentle nudge to raise the $100,000 question with your daughter, but perhaps just one, would be appropriate.

I trust they will live hopefully and happily ever after.

The Moneyist regrets he cannot respond to letters individually.

More columns from Quentin Fottrell:

I give my mother's next-door neighbor $500 a month. She agreed to sell me her house, although she'll continue to live there. Is this a good plan?

'We're happily married': We're 58, earn $160,000 and saved $2.2 million. We grew up poor. Our families treat us like ATMs. Are we OK?

'I'm sick of dating losers': Are single Americans looking for love online - or money? It's hard to tell the difference.

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